Radiance and Realism
by Lara1221
Summary: Bill is troubled and doubting himself after his first full moon as part-werewolf. For Samantha.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of this.

**For Samantha, **(HP Slash Luv), for GGE. I'm sorry I couldn't write that slash you enjoy, but I really hope you like this! Thanks for the wonderful options and inspiration :)

**A/N: **So yeah, actually I've had a lot of trouble coming up with something for this fic but I just got an idea, like, two hours ago, so here we go. This is actually rather serious, and I do think there are other fics out there like this (?), but nevertheless, I think it's original idea. It takes place after Bill is attacked by Greyback, and before the wedding. I was unsure about the song too, because obviously in Fault in Our Stars Augustus is dead, but I still think it works. Hope you like all like it though! Reviews would be wonderful! **Written for: (skip)**

**songfic challenge: easy: **[from SO LONG ago] all of the stars by ed sheeran**; chp title acrostics: r: **romance genre**; categories comp 2: **canon**;**

* * *

_So open your eyes and see_  
_The way our horizons meet_  
_And all of the lights will lead_  
_Into the night with me_  
_And I know these scars will bleed_  
_But both of our hearts believe_  
_All of these stars will guide us home_

All of the Stars, Ed Sheeran

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Radiance and Realism

Rattled was not quite the right word for what both Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour were feeling right now.

_Scarred_, thought Bill, that was more like it. On the outside, his face was mangled and twisted, and it would look to anyone on the outside world that he was perpetually angry, or disturbed, or simply unfortunate, but there would always be those who would stare and _wonder_.

He should get used to that.

On the inside, he _was _angry. That his mother had to go through that, think he would die, and that his siblings were all killed in nearly one night. He was angry for Fleur, who deserved someone incredible, on the inside and out. Bill knew that Fleur loved him no matter what his face looked like, but it still hurt knowing that she was so beautiful, and he no longer was.

But what went deeper than that was what really, really mattered. On the very inside, what mattered was that they had beaten them. Dumbledore had died and the Order had been outnumbered and Voldemort was growing in strength, war was inevitable, his family was in danger —

and he had the scar to prove it.

It was a warm summer night, full of stars and without a moon. The full moon had been the previous evening, and Bill had had his first connection to his new symptoms. He wasn't a werewolf, for sure, but that experience would never go away, and it only made the experience all the more real.

He often stared at the stars and wondered - what was out there, if there was a path that we should all follow. They had been counted on since the beginning, studied for millennia, taught at Hogwarts, and yet they still held so much mystery.

Bill knew he would be marveled at in this way now, too.

The stars shined in a way that showed every feature of the Earth, so full that if he squinted, he could almost see hope in them.

Until he touched his hands to his face, and remembered the emotions and fear and sickness that overcame him yesterday. He had looked to the night sky for guidance, looked toward the full moon and wondered why this had happened to people like a young, harmless Remus, like him - people who had family and love in their life and didn't deserve it.

Fleur hated it when he thought like that, and he hated it to put her through it all the same, so he had slipped out of their bed because he needed to think. (Of course, according to his mother, they shouldn't be anywhere _near_ each other, but Fleur slipped into his bed nearly every night.) She would find him soon; they slept with their hands entwined, and she was more nervous than ever lately.

As if sensing his thoughts, he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, a touch he recognized very well. "Please come back to sleep, Guilliam. You 'ad barely any last night."

"_Je t'aime_, Fleur, for thinking of me," he told her, if only to make her smile. "I couldn't fall asleep."

She took his hand in hers and sat beside him on the steps of the Burrow. "You 'ave been feeling better, non?"

"That's not what I feel bad about."

"What is wrong, _mon amour_?"

Bill looked to the young woman who would be his wife in less than a month. The stars in the sky shined in her eyes, that were looking at him with the utmost care and concern. She was gripping his hand, trying to get him to finally give way to what he had been feeling since the night of the Astronomy Tower, because truth be told, he had not told her. He had told her that he was too ugly for her now, that he would have died if anything had happened to her, that he didn't know what he would have done in if any of his family was hurt. But she knew there was something else, something more.

Voldemort had come too close, taken too much. There was the possibility that his entire life could have changed when Dumbledore fell and lightning struck, but in there being the dawn of a real war, Bill still had his family, friends; the people he cared about the most.

He cupped Fleur's porcelain cheek in his hand. The people he loved the most were at stake.

It was personal.

He had been beaten, if only for a moment, and he wasn't sure he had the strength to come back. There were responsibilities that came with being the oldest, and with being a wizard who felt he needed to protect those around him.

"I can't do it, Fleur."

"Guilliam — I do not understand —"

"He got to me," he said quietly, angrily, fists shaking. "There were people counting on me and every second I spent under Greyback's mercy, I could've been helping all of you."

Fleur's eyes filled with tears she did not shed. "Please do not talk like zis, love, it is zee moon. You fought as 'ard as you could. You were zere for you family and for me."

"What if it happens again? I don't think I can beat him, Fleur. That night, my entire life was in danger, and every scar that you're looking at right now, every single one shows the emotional hold he has over me."

He watched her study his face, trace her eyes back and forth over his angry marks. With a start, she leaned in and kissed him softly.

She spoke quietly when she pulled away, and placed each of her hands in his, and then brought them to her heart. "'E is nothing, Guilliam. 'E is a sad man who does not realize what 'e could 'ave if people cared, if _'e_ cared. Greyback 'as nothing left but to lust after blood, and zis is why he came for you. Zese scars are part of the man I love, and zey tell me zat my fiance is a 'ero. _Je t'aime_, Guilliam. Please, zat is what matters."

And way deep down inside, under the stars, Bill _felt _it.

Then he brought the love of his life to him and held her until his heart was whole again.


End file.
